Honest Trailers: Game Of Thrones
by Legatum
Summary: All Thronies are respectfully requested to lay down all torches and pitchforks before entering.


The Following Trailer is Rated NM For NO MERCY!

* * *

From the most infamous mass murderer in literary history, and the hordes of rabid fans that support him, comes a series bloody enough to make Chicago look like a Utopian paradise, and promiscuous enough to make Las Vegas feel really good about itself.

Game Of Thrones!

Explore the worldwide phenomena that became the most successful fantasy series of its generation, but in reality would have made less splash than a dead fish if it wasn't for the money-making shock value of half the cast getting their dicks chopped off.

Enter the country of Westeros, a harsh, medieval land populated almost exclusively by assholes.

And experience an epic struggle for power among a bloated cast of bastards, douchbags, murderers, psychos, sluts, schemers, freaks, gays, and sexual deviants, who are all destined to die a horrible death at the hands of their bloodthirsty creator, whether it be:

Getting thrown off a tower, being eaten by zombies, getting axed at a wedding, getting melted like a cheap candle, or being shot with a crossbow by a pissed-off dwarf while sitting on the crapper.

So steel yourself against empathy, emotion, or anything vaguely resembling human decency, and prepare for a epic story that has been HBO's bread and butter since 2011, which will come to screeching halt when George Martin inevitably dies without finishing the story, leaving tens of millions of devastated Thronies without a reason to live.

Starring:

Survivorman- Jon Snow

Thorin Drunkenshield- Tyrion Lannister

The Wicked Witch Of Westeros- Cersei Lannister

Mr. Freeze- The Night King

Enjoy your stay in Hell- King Joffrey

DogFood- Ramsay Bolton

And, a _**LOT**_ of dead people [In alphabetical order]:

 **Baratheon, Robert  
Baratheon, Stannis  
Baratheon, Tommen  
Baratheon, Selyse  
Baratheon, Shireen**  
 **Barra**  
 **Billy**  
 **Biter**  
 **Bolton, Baby**  
 **Bolton, Roose  
** **Brother Ray**  
 **Bulwer, "Black Jack"**  
 **Caleotte (Maester)  
Cassel, Jory  
Cassel, Rodrik**  
 **Copper King, The**  
 **Cooper**  
 **Crane, Lady**  
 **Craster**  
 **Cressen (Maester)**

 **Cuy, Emmon  
Daxos, Xaro Xhoan  
Dayne, Arthur  
Dongo**  
 **Doreah  
Drennan**  
 **Drogo (Khal)  
Eaton (Maester)**  
 **Egen, Vardis**  
 **Flasher, The**  
 **Forel, Syrio  
Forzho (Khal)**  
 **Frey, (Lady, name unknown)  
Frey, Joyeuse**  
 **Frey, Lothar  
Frey, Walda**  
 **Frey, Walder  
Gared  
Gatins**  
 **Ghita**  
 **Gordy**

 **Greizhen mo Ullhor**  
 **Grenn  
Grey Wind (direwolf)**  
 **Greyjoy, Balon**

 **Guymon**  
 **Hill, Donnel**  
 **Hollard, Dontos  
** **Hotah, Areo**  
 **Hizdahr zo Loraq**  
 **High Septon, The**  
 **High Sparrow, The**

 **Hightower, Gerold**  
 **Hodor  
Humble, Adrack**  
 **Iggo**

 **Irri  
Jack**  
 **Karsi  
Karstark, Harald**  
 **Karstark, Rickard**  
 **Karstark, Torrhen**  
 **Kegs**  
 **Kenning, Ralf**  
 **Kraznys mo Nakloz  
Kurleket**  
 **Lady (direwolf)  
Lannister, Alton**  
 **Lannister, Kevan  
Lannister, Lancel  
Lannister, Martyn**  
 **Lannister, Tywin  
Lannister, Willem**  
 **Leaf  
Lem**  
 **Loboda**  
 **Locke**  
 **Lommy "Greenhands"**  
 **Lorch, Amory**  
 **Lord of Bones**  
 **Lowell**  
 **Luwin (Maester)**  
 **Mag the Mighty  
Mago**  
 **Manderly, Wendel**  
 **Marsh, Bowen**  
 **Martell, Doran  
** **Martell, Oberyn  
** **Martell, Trystane**  
 **Master Torturer**  
 **Maz Duur, Mirri  
Mero**  
 **Mordane (Septa)**

 **Moore, Mandon**  
 **Morgan**

 **Mormont, Jeor**  
 **Mormont, Maege  
Moro (Khal)  
Mossador**  
 **Mully**  
 **Myranda  
** **Mycah**

 **Olly  
Osha**  
 **Oznak zo Pahl**  
 **Paenymion, Belicho**  
 **Polliver  
Poole, Vayon**  
 **Pree, Pyat**  
 **Prendahl na Ghezn**  
 **Pycelle (Grand Maester)  
Pypar "Pyp"**  
 **Qhorin "Halfhand"**  
 **Qorro (Khal)**  
 **Qotho  
Rakharo**  
 **Rast**  
 **Rayder, Mance**  
 **Razdal mo Eraz**  
 **Reed, Jojen  
Rennick**  
 **Rhaego**  
 **Rhalko (Khal)**  
 **Rivers, "Black Walder"**  
 **Riddell**  
 **Ros  
Royce, Robar**  
 **Royce, Waymar  
Rorge**  
 **Sally**  
 **Sally's Father**  
 **Santagar, Aron**  
 **Seaworth, Matthos**  
 **Selmy, Barristan**

 **Shae**  
 **Shaggydog (direwolf)**

 **Silk King, The**  
 **Silver, The (Horse)**  
 **Simpson**  
 **Slynt, Janos**  
 **Smitty**  
 **Spice King, The**  
 **Stark, Catelyn**  
 **Stark, Eddard "Ned"  
Stark, Lyanna  
Stark, Rickon  
** **Stark, Robb  
** **Stark, Talisa  
Steve**  
 **Stiv**  
 **Stonesnake  
Styr  
Summer (direwolf)  
Tanner, Karl**  
 **Tansy**

 **Targaryen, Aemon (Maester)**  
 **Targaryen, Aeryes II**  
 **Targaryen, Viserys  
Thorne, Alliser**  
 **Three-Eyed Raven, The**  
 **Tickler, The**  
 **Tom**  
 **Torrent, Axel**  
 **Trant, Meryn**  
 **Tully, Brynden**  
 **Tully, Hoster**  
 **Tyrell, Loras  
Tyrell, Mace**  
 **Tyrell, Margaery**  
 **Umber, Jon "Greatjon"**  
 **Umber, Jon "Smalljon"  
Unella (Septa)**

 **Vale, Hugh of the  
Varly  
Waif, The  
Wallen  
Warg, Thenn  
White Rat  
Will  
Wode, Willis  
Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun  
** ** **Yarwyck, Othell**** **  
Ygritte  
Yoren**

* * *

Grave of Bones!

Watching all these characters get killed off is just plain depressing. I need something to cheer me up. I know! I'll watch The Walking Dead!


End file.
